Held back happy tears

 ‘held back happy tears’ Trgates, 3/29/2021

sitting, he matter of fact,
“Papa, I was scared. 
you had the virus. 
then, before, your heart, 
and I want to make sure the machine keeps working. 
but now we’re together. 
— I love you Papa.’
then we went back to eating pancakes, syrup, and applesauce (he mixes them now.). 
my five year grandson,
knows movement of joy. 
sometimes I hold back, 
well, I held back happy tears. 
—the first time I sat before 
a Van Gogh, 
stunned by its life,
my eyes filled,
every fiber, even sinew vibrated as I was baptized. 
yet, sitting with a five year old,
beholding the beauty of honest storytelling, and emotion in flux,
I know there’s not a Psalmist’s bottle sufficient to hold such joy shared, 
in other ways held back. 
momentarily.