Prayed way too often

 ‘Prayed way too often’Trgates,5/21/2025

prayed way too often,
sometimes cursed the same,
so tired of living through another collapse. 
at four asked for heaven,
maybe after talking with Dad’s Dad,
Grandpa died that morning,
dream or not matters not. 
Talked with Jesus,
addictions, too many,
one he took away,
the others by the help of empathy 
gifted horizontal vertical hand holding. 
prayed way too often,
tried to not believe 
but haven’t been able to 
stop praying. 
every guitar picking,
rock, folk, plus my Dad’s Hank’s tunes. 
every line from
phrase to phrase,
rhythm, even some rhyme,
the gift pauses 
for a moment I hear the silence. 
prayed way too often,
no doubt needing to 
get used to the not knowing. 
Wiping my eyes into my cheeks,
I hear, “Daddy,” then
“Papa, I love you all the way
to Heaven and back, and then some.”
now this I know.