‘Sitting’ timothy r. gates, 01/12/2006

Sitting in the dark,
sackcloth and ashes,
icon of transformation,
the altar is I.
I am, I am that, I am we,
genesis’ non-existence, non-being,
prescience, now consciousness,
-if I choose.
Sitting in the light,
listening to the silence,
‘Be still and know that I AM God.’
Hell and Heaven within my grasp,
-not there or hereafter, now.
One breath at a time,
clichés from twelve-step groups,
laughed at them years ago,
not any longer.
Dead people talk to me,
dreams, fantasies,
or poorly observed phenomenon,
more than the living,
-I trust their experience. (Gnostics. Ha!)
Kaddish, Memory Eternal, Blessed Repose,
grief is transformed only in the present,
we both live and die, now.
Sitting, aware,
for a moment I know,
then I am accosted by existence.
Then I am reminded,
‘One day at a time,
one hour at a time
one moment at a time,
one second at a time.
I sit,
so I can stand up.
Walk.

‘Premonition’ timothy r. gates 1/13/2006
A look from somewhere,
feeling like someone is watching,
impression of more than myself,
a cool breeze sweeps around my legs,
but it’s a warm day;
a warm gush of air hits my face,
but it’s a cold day.
Not all premonitions are true or false,
but why does it matter?
(Some say, merely, badly perceived phenomenon.)
Meeting someone for the first time,
but you’ve known them forever;
every face and word said
observed in last evening’s dreams;
knowing what someone is saying,
but not telling you with their words,
not unlike knowing what’s going to be said;
looking around a room that you’ve been in before,
but you haven’t;
telling God that you don’t believe in God,
laughing out loud at this absurdity;
walking into a place, seeing all the beautiful people,
only one of them unnerves you.
I smile.
A friend’s grandmother ready to die;
envision children dancing, singing, ‘Ring around the rosy.’
(Some say, merely, imaginative illusions.)
Grandfather tells his wife of sixty years, ‘Goodbye;’
speaks into the air, ‘Jesus, I ready,’ then dies.
Maybe some Moslems dying, say, ‘Allah, your will be done?’
Jews, ‘G-o-d, ok, I’m done?’
Hindus and Buddhists, ‘Peace, into actualization; or next?’
Agnostics, ‘Whatever?’
Atheists?
God, ‘Already been there and done that?’
(Some say fantasy’s delusions.)
I am awake, I know;
I am awake and do not know.
Some things that are seen can be effected,
some cannot.
‘If you have faith as a mustard seed,
you can move mountains.’
Screw the mountains,
why doesn’t faith stop hunger, loneliness, disease, rape and incest?
Karma, God’s will, balance, life:
living.
Seeing, knowing, not knowing,
we do not know what is true or what is only real.
Doing what one does, knows to do,
Whatever change is, is.
Answers to questions change nothing.
I pray that I am that who does.I breath.