Saturday, October 06, 2018

Girls, and boys

‘Girls, and boys’ trgates,10/2018
Girls, and boys 
raped, told to 
forgive, and forget. 
girls subjected to, “your 
appearance team them.”
boys subjected to, “your responsibility is to come forward,”
easily said by those not on the other end of these words. 
when you finally are able to come forward 
the look of betrayal is indelible. 
the violations of boys and girls, physically, cease. 
important, courage to say no more is seen as betrayal, or incredulous. 
then, a non-restitution criminal is given an open door. (Government is complicit.)
I pray that the girls, and boys of America will not follow the example of those in DC. 
And that those in DC cease preying.
  Trg, 10/05/2018

bi-polar


'bipolar II vision' timothy r gates, 12/30/2008/2018

four year old,
lived, wanted to die
decades later,
more so

spacial vision
hurricane's turmoil,
eye known
tornado's path,
eye leaps
Jackson Pollack,
streams of colours
appear as messes to the 
normal
they claim,
'Any one could do that!'

Van Gogh's hues
Dali's lines
Mary Cassatt's confidence
Lee Krasner's brilliance hidden by her lover
Degas' door to Kadinsky 
Die Brücke
'Starry Starry Night'

bipolar II vision
see the mess, and the
calm
hear the unspoken lines

cacophony of polyphonic 
eight tones, atonal, tonal
inside their intoning
calm before the storm?
Yes.
Within the storm?
Yes, this as well. 
'do you hear what i hear?'

four year old
still lives
grins at the others'
chagrin


'If there is to be any peace it will come through being not having.' + Henry Miller  'Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.' + Martin Luther King Jr. 'The search for Truth is the search for God.' 

Mortality’s grace

‘mortality’s grace’ trgates,10/2/2018 
six months,
first time mortality knocked -
Dad and Mother made deals with God, 
years later they told me. 
funny, I believed,
even when hating it. 
a half dozen funeral roses, 
times a half dozen shadow angels, 
yet each night they refused to close their wooden boxes. 
irony, praying for closure,
you arise, again, 
glad that mortality knocked one time too few. 
people ask, “why do you believe?”
no tautology here, teleology, ontology, or even a slight eschatology of fear —
philanthropy found in hugs, 
wee ones asking for nothing, 
in their browns, blues, hazels, 
here we stroll in the Garden,
cool breeze caressing our cheeks,
dew baptizing our toes, 
each grass blade poking up through. 
questions, or answers,
superfluous,
every awakening to a sunrise alarm,
here a desire for faith 
takes a backseat to Aretha’s Amazing Grace.

Train

‘Train’ trgates, 8/31/2018
Immortality knocks daily,
today is always its day.
By brain, or heart, whatever -
the Slow Train Coming will arrive.
Mortality knocks daily,
today is always its day.
the train arrives, always on time,
without a request,
it says, “it’s time, the car will take you to the crossing,”
immortality, and mortality
do a brief two-step,
saying respectively,
“Hello,” and, “Goodbye.”
“All aboard, all aboard.”
______________
Vechnaya Pamyat-Memory Eternal, (Slavonic-Russian) — breath shared, and when face to face ceases, neither  is there qualitative, quantifiable words. So we intone in brevity, love. From all over the Country, spontaneously joining a funeral dirge of love’s grief in front of the 9/11 memorial. 
'I know....'               trgates,9/12/2017
I have no idea what to do when someone I love dies. 
I know this, you hurt like hell
I know this, you remember the weirdest things
I know this, you miss those things said that you vowed to never say
I know this, this who suffered you're glad they're done with that
I know this, I know grief changes
I know this, love knows no death
I know this, perhaps I know little,
I know this, I continue to intone, 
I sing, "Vechnaya Pamyat-Memory Eternal
‘sometimes they behave like imps’      Trgates,9/26/2018 
Blink of an eye,
sneeze, a blip,
wellbeing changes,
good, bad
subject to 
philosophical, continuum, medical normalcy perimeters.
playing with wee ones,
grateful for the freedom to roll around,
vocational routines matter,
if a byproduct of wingless angels
sometimes they behave like imps, gnomes, or fairies.

Mother, Som

‘Behold, your Mother.’ Trgates, 8/14/2018
“Behold, your Son, Daughter, Behold your Mother.”
You get it when your Grandchild is quick to declare, insistently, 
“Fr. J, this is my Papa!” 
of course it’s repeated a few more times,
just in case it wasn’t heard. 
She inclines her ear,
noting every word,
not just nodding in order to get you on your way, 
whispering sparingly,
“Let it be.”
Her Son leans forward,
listening closely,
hitting spot on the harmony line. 
In Blessed Repose, or many years, she’s never jealous, 
save for beholding love’s dance,
bringing forward to memory’s screen 
when she let you think you were marvelous, while the whole time your feet moved on top of hers. 
She inclines her ear,
in turn whispering, 
“Now it’s your turn”
______
For me, this is a celebration of beauty everywhere .......
     “Mother Mary comes to me —- Let it be...” — in the middle of the night she reminds me of what is easily forgotten. Then we, again, walk in the cool of the morning, gentle breeze caressing our foreheads, dew between our toes, grass crunches under our feet, grateful for what is.  Yes, grateful, intoning, “Let it be.” 8/14/2018

'One who ponders, listens' timothyrgates,8/15/2017
babies and mothers,
marginalized by
rulers, civil and religious,
Joseph's the Inn
not given by
kings or priests
(they would've gladly
stoned her to death) -
she was the
wrong religion
wrong pigmentation
wrong gender
wrong age
wrong marriage status.
"no crying he made,"
silly as if you'd claim,
no diapers he'd need changed.
today,
respected by
many traditions,
yet she'd still be barred,
the place she slept,
pre-teen mercy seat,
iconic royal doors closed to her as well.
a baby's tears,
wed to a mother's,
baptizing time's lament,
she dies as well.
unwedded bride,
joy of all sorrow,
Sophia's Logos,
"Listen to her,
who held me near,"
she,
"Inclines her ear,"
and hears.
one who ponders,
listens.

'Mother's, "my Son" timothyrgates,08-12-2017
millennium  of
attractors and detractors,
"You saved others,
save yourself,"
institutional vocations,
paid to teach what
those two did,
hanging on either side -
and their support
comes from the rest of us,
still needing bolstering.
between her tear stained cheeks,
eyes left with dry tears,
she has nothing to prove,
looking up she has one word,
"My Son."
in blessed repose,
he beholds her well worn beauty,
unable to leave her again,
"Mother, let us now
stroll together,
this garden has no need of
flaming swords."
Attractors and detractors,
still hanging on their own words,
miss this portrait,
unable to hear
Mother and Son
in their love.
she, "inclines her ear,"
as, he leans forward, listening,
barely a whisper,
"My Son,"
he smiles,
"Mother, I always hear you."

"Mother, come home"                      timothy r gates, 8/15/2013

ruddy hued teen
grinned at her baby boy,
Yes, crying he made,
wiping away his tears
tasting the saltiness,
"My lord,"
in time we'd hear,
"My mother."
Bigots,
religious and political,
murdered her boy,
forgetting the little girl
playing where only men,
certain high priests,
once prayed -
they killed her only son.
a few other women,
a young John,
a couple other Mary's,
Joseph and Nicodemus -
the rest of their friends,
save for one remorseful suicide,
ran and hid.
Friends and family came to her side
blessed repose
laid out for a full Kaddish.
Her only son does what she couldn't,
in her typical minimalism,
we hear a whisper
a tear's baptism -
"Mother, come home."

writing in the sand.                                timothy r gates, 8/14/2013
silence speaks.
she knew her own loathing.
stone-throwers, like addicts,
blame diseases
had a support group
diverting attention from their noise
praying to their lawgiver,
ready to do god's judgment.
"you without sin throw the first stone,"
saved the accused.
stone-throwers didn't kill her,
not living up to their prowess claims -
walked away.
in their silence,
walking away
their robes brushed away
his note in the sand.

Love breaks.             timothy r gates, 5/18/2013
tumbles in flight,
appears nearing a crash,
then nose up
soaring in flight.
Like whispers
in Latin and Greek,
"i'm love in kindness."
Heaven intrudes
horizon knows
vertical transformation,
looking up
grace smiles at mercy.
Namaste.

" Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

O, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

Amen.

st. francis of assisi - 13th century
(Commonly attributed to St Francis) 

Anesti Awake

‘Anesti, awake’ trgates,8/16/2018
another sunset,
awaiting its rising,
careful, turn your head, 
cough, both are easily missed. 
stone rolled away,
only a couple of Mary’s, and another Friend 
noticed the bouquet’s fragrance, and
walked past the stone’s cast shadow. 
one’s bier, 
another’s reclining couch,
anticipates each
last exhale,
inhaling an amorous, 
one more resurrection. 
anaxios, axios,
eternity’s prism 
casts its hues, 
“the stone rolled away, walk past those easily said declarations.”
coughing, I almost missed it. 
now I place my head upon it, 
a pillow no one else could give. 
Anesti, awake. 

Stories are written

‘stories are written’ trgates, 8/31/2018
stories, 
either others write them,
or we pen our own. 
iconodules do so in the first person,
relying heavily upon the ones who laid paths behind, adding some unique brush strokes. 
iconoclasts pretend to not care, yet smash even the letters that make pictures into stories. 
They are written, period. 
Write your own.
A “.” will one day be the last note.

Beam in your eyes

'the Beam in your eye'                         timothy r gates,9/28/2014

Looking into the wind,                            
watching another stumble,
then fall,
something lodged in my eye.

Went into the house,
into the bathroom,
looked into the mirror,
but couldn't see anything.

It appeared to be a speck,
a beam, in your eye.
I removed the dust,
and noticed that it was a beam.

Behold.
will look and see
once I work on the other eye.

Words spun

‘words, spun’ trgates,7/10/2018
words, spun by contrivers,
words, telling of love,
not unlike other grief,
when mushroomed into a missive. 
she walks across a path,
far, yet near, 
rare that near sight 
makes first long sight jealous. 
pauses between 
verbs, and nouns,
no need for exaggeration,
left with one word, 
awe.   

Thank you

‘thank you’ trg,9/29/2018
guitars, coffee houses,
quiet playing, and 
what’s called, spoken word,
mostly free verse poetry. 
early gifted motherhood,
day in, day out for others,
a life like music, 
and poetry, and painting,
rarely a personal recline. 
hearts knowing extreme sorrow,
hearts full of shared joy,
one allowing the other,
smiles are felt,
even when others miss them,
like prayer,
I don’t waste time trying explain this gift, 
I merely say thank you.

MLK 50years and more

“Dreaming”trgates,8/28/18
When I was a young lad
I believed in equality,
no equivocation. 
Thought everyone did. 
As a teen, found myself protesting in behalf of what I believed. 
Some of the everyone believed. 
“I have a dream,” I still do. 
Still, some of the everyone practice what many of the everyone say they believe. 
Dreaming. Dreaming. 
And, believing.  
_________
Posted By: timothyrgates,8/28/2017 
Timothy R Gates

'MLK's dream continues' 
Bigotry, gift of egotism,
seven deadly sins cannot compete.
A neo-hatred is blossoming 
from the top, down applauded,
"Blessed are the children,
for such are the kingdom of heaven,"
only applies to some. 
Prejudice, conclusions become bigotry,
nations justify kids murdered,
it's part of the business of war. 
Rapists, pedaphiles, murderers,
reduced sentences,
no matter their guilt,
their illnesses sometimes 
covered by confessions,
God forbid that children,
"red and yellow, black and white,
are precious in his sight,"
be protected from an, "again."
These have yet to have equal rights. 
1963, "I have a dream,"
continues -
2017, many know this dream,
once treated as less than human,
today fill all spheres,
have from the top, down,
applauded by most. 
"A child shall lead them,"
they do everyday,
MLK's dream continues,
hatred, reported daily,
love lived, daily grows - 
small ones know no hatred
know no separation by religion 
know no separation by politics 
know no separation by heritage 
know no separation by gender
know no separation by age,
play is their work. 
Myth of our species disconnectness,
gift of arrogance, 
breeding home for rejected innocence,
only needs a mountain top stroll.

'Love needs no' trgates, 2014/15/16 Love needs no instructor, cannot be redacted, has no summation; yet wherever Love is known, here there's synergy, harmony, and sometimes the rare, always latent overtone. 
Love knows the taste of tears,mixed. 
Love knows the profound sweetness of a brief, or extended hug.
Love knows you somehow know I'm thinking of you, moved to a grateful tear that I hold back in front of others. 
Love knows the silence of love, like poetry, heard in between the words, knowing the apophatic  reality of our words as attempts at saying what it means, "I love you." 
Love smiles in, or beyond time and space. 
Love knows why omniscience steps aside.  
Love merely loves.